The Meteor Was A CONSPIRACY?

By: Chris Delamo

February 18, 2013

Well, when I woke up on Friday morning to the news that a meteor had struck down in Russia, my entire worldview changed for a few seconds as I waited for the internet page to load with more details.  The headline “Meteor Slams Down in Russia!”—which was certainly tailored to attract as many viewers as possible to the article—had me coming to one dreadful conclusion:

“The asteroid that was supposed to miss Earth the same day, must have somehow been improperly calculated by the government workers over at NASA, and now Russia will have to deal with the essential nuclear fallout from the giant space rock.”

Big fuckin’ coincidence, huh?  You see, when I heard about the tiny meteor that crash-landed like a UFO in Roswell, my mind had been filled with the headlines from the day before:  “Giant Meteor ‘2012 DA14’ to Miss Earth by 17,000 miles”, or “Armageddon Asteroid narrowly misses Earth.”

That’s right: before the sonic-boom-blasting boulder that shattered countless windows in Russia on the morning of Friday, February 15th, 2013, the world was slightly worried about an even greater threat—a meteor that astronomers so aptly-named “2012 DA14”.  Menacing name, huh?  Well, according to the experts, this behemoth was going to narrowly miss Earth, so don’t worry concerned citizens, everything will be fine.

Oh, well, that’s a relief.  I submitted my worries to the officials at NASA, and put the “Armageddon meteor” out of my consciousness.

But wait a minute!  If the “Armageddon asteroid” was supposed to miss us, what the hell crash-landed in Russia a mere 12 hours before the major meteor was supposed to narrowly whizz past Earth?  I thought we were safe!  I thought we were told the truth! Continue reading